Northwestern University Athletics
"Everything We Do Now is Dedicated to Jordan"
1/16/2017 10:34:00 AM | Women's Basketball
By Skip Myslenski
NUsports.com Special Contributor
The clock dipped below two minutes as 'Cat guard Ashley Deary delivered an entry pass to Christen Inman, who was quickly fouled hard by Indiana's Tia Elbert. She was fouled so hard, in fact, that she could not take her shots, and now 'Cat coach Joe McKeown turned toward his bench and motioned for sophomore Amber Jamison. She would be his choice to do that for one of his senior captains.
Jamison, throughout this season, had worn number 32, but on this Saturday afternoon at Welsh-Ryan Arena her jersey number was five. That number, it had belonged to Jordan Hankins, who five days earlier had been found dead in her Foster-Walker room. "Amber and Jordan were unbelievably close," McKeown would say, explaining the switch.
"We were super close," Jamison herself later iterated. "Roommates. Best friends. Same class. I just wanted it to feel like she was still out there with us, for one last game to feel her presence out there on the court. I felt like having her jersey on did that."
Now, in that jersey, she came off the bench and walked to the line with the 'Cats up nine and 1:57 remaining. She had never before faced this kind of crucible, had not even taken a free throw in a game since way back on November 25th. So, she would recall, "I was really nervous. But every time I stepped to the free throw line I thought of her. I don't consider myself a very consistent free throw shooter, but she always knocked down her free throws.
"So every time I stepped to the line I thought about her and I tried to remain calm. I just remained calm."
**********
The 'Cats learned of Hankins' death at a Monday night team meeting and, on Tuesday, they cancelled their Wednesday game at Minnesota and the Cook County coroner's office ruled the death a suicide. Now would come a prayer vigil with Athletes in Action on Wednesday night and the decision to play this game against the Hoosiers, and always there was an open door at the homes of tri-captains Deary and Inman and Nia Coffey. "Even if we were doing nothing together, we were together," said Inman, explaining how the team got through the week. "It was simple stuff. Watching movies. As long as we were one collective body, it didn't matter what we were doing or saying. Even if it was silent, us being in a room together was our support system."
"We tried to make sure that our entire staff and team were together a lot, and we tried to listen to them (the players), and tried to gauge how they're feeling and what their needs would be," said McKeown. "The biggest thing is just listening to them more than anything else. There's no textbook or playbook on how to handle these things. I've been a head coach for thirty-some years and everything I'm telling you is right off the top of my head right now. So I think as we move forward, we'll deal with it as we go and listen to our players. We have five seniors. We feel like they'll tell us what the team needs as much as we tell them what we've got to do here and there. So we're going to lean on each other."
**********
There were countless shoulders for these 'Cats to lean on Saturday at Welsh-Ryan, which pulsed with emotion. Chris Collins and the men's team were there, and so too were Pat Fitzgerald and any number of his players. The wrestling team, the softball team, countless teams were on hand as well, and so too were the students and the constant supporters of these women. Many wore shirts emblazoned with Hankins' face on the front and, on the back, her number five and the legend "Fly High J."
"I've coached in every arena in America, probably, and it was just so loud, so special," said McKeown. "To hear our student-athletes behind the basket there, to see our men's team— I thought Chris was going to get T'd up once. To see our football players— every sport came out. It was incredible"—and here his voice cracked—"not just our student-athletes. But the people who've supported us since I've been here, how much they care about our players. I'm sure that played into the score today. That was probably worth 10 points."
"It was really good to see everyone come out," echoed Deary. "It's been a hard week for our team and for the Northwestern family. We were out here for her today. That's all this game was about. As a team we decided she would want to play. She loved this game, and we just went out there and played for her."
**********
The 'Cats warmed up to play wearing white t-shirts bearing Hankins' name and number, the same shirts worn by McKeown and his staff. There was a moment of silence for Hankins five minutes before play began and, just before tipoff, all three officials warmly hugged the 'Cat coaches. But here Amber Jamison was suffering. "Once I got on the court, it was a little easier because I felt like I was doing everything for her and that she would want this," she later explained.
"But leading up to the game it was really hard. I wasn't sure if I would be able to come out there and play. Just emotionally. What got me over the hump was remembering her and how much she loved the game and how much she dedicated her time to get better. Also hearing that her brother was able to play (a high school game) Tuesday night really gave me strength. I was just thinking, 'If he can do that, I can go out there and play as well.'"
**********
The 'Cats led by 11 at the end of the first period, which Deary punctuated with a drive and a scooping layup and a tap of her heart and finger toward the heavens. "The whole game we wanted to embody her spirit and her aggressiveness and her confidence and just play with her swagger because that's what she would have done," she would say when asked about that moment. "She was that type of player, to just go at it. I really wanted to make her proud and be aggressive like she usually is."
But at halftime their lead was down to five and, four minutes into the third period, the Hoosiers tied them up at 42. "Courage is grace under pressure," Ernest Hemingway famously said, and the 'Cats certainly exhibited that in the minutes that now followed. But, even more, they manifested the truth of the old Russian proverb that avows, "The same hammer that shatters the glass forges the steel."
All week they had been hammered by any number of thoughts and emotions and now here, their lead gone, their opponent afire, their success uncertain, they were under the hammer once again. But they did not break. They instead showed their steel and unleashed a 15-4 run that left them up 11 as the final period began. "I obviously don't know the team and the culture they have," Hoosier coach Teri Moren would say when asked if this 'Cat response surprised her. "But here is the one thing I do know about young people. I think there's a resiliency about them when it comes to adversity. I don't think we give them enough credit sometimes. It was 40 minutes they could put aside their heartbreak and just play for Jordan. That's probably what their mission was today, to play for something bigger than themselves."
"I think that drove us even further," said Deary, when asked if it was hard to rally back after the week the team had endured. "When you're in a game, you have ups and downs, just like in life you have ups and downs. It's about overcoming those downs together and that's what we did as a team. We pulled together. We withstood the storm and came out on top. That's kind of been our mantra this past week and for this game."
**********
Still, as Amber Jamison walked to the line with 1:57 remaining, it was a three-possession game, and a 'Cat win was not yet assured. But here she thought of Jordan Hankins, and she calmed herself, and she coolly dropped her third and fourth free throw attempts of the season. Then, in the final 58 seconds, she would make four more, and finally this one was over, the 'Cats victorious by 13. "We definitely felt we needed this one for her," she later said. "This whole season, everything we do now is dedicated to Jordan and honoring her. Us coming out together and playing together, I felt like we really did that."
**********
Later, in the handshake line, the Hoosier coach Moren took care to warmly hug each 'Cat and to pat her on the back. "I wanted them to know we were supporting and thinking and praying for them," she would explain. "That's the smallest thing I could do. I know it's been a difficult week here."
Then, as the band played the alma mater, the players huddled near half-court, and draped their arms around each other, and dropped their heads to create a portrait poignant enough for tears. "It was emotional," Ashley Deary finally said. "We've been through so much this past week and to get a win for her and to have that release, there was satisfaction knowing that we could come together and play this game as hard as it was for all of us.
"It was a release. We did it. We overcame this hump that seemed impossible."
NUsports.com Special Contributor
The clock dipped below two minutes as 'Cat guard Ashley Deary delivered an entry pass to Christen Inman, who was quickly fouled hard by Indiana's Tia Elbert. She was fouled so hard, in fact, that she could not take her shots, and now 'Cat coach Joe McKeown turned toward his bench and motioned for sophomore Amber Jamison. She would be his choice to do that for one of his senior captains.
Jamison, throughout this season, had worn number 32, but on this Saturday afternoon at Welsh-Ryan Arena her jersey number was five. That number, it had belonged to Jordan Hankins, who five days earlier had been found dead in her Foster-Walker room. "Amber and Jordan were unbelievably close," McKeown would say, explaining the switch.
"We were super close," Jamison herself later iterated. "Roommates. Best friends. Same class. I just wanted it to feel like she was still out there with us, for one last game to feel her presence out there on the court. I felt like having her jersey on did that."
Now, in that jersey, she came off the bench and walked to the line with the 'Cats up nine and 1:57 remaining. She had never before faced this kind of crucible, had not even taken a free throw in a game since way back on November 25th. So, she would recall, "I was really nervous. But every time I stepped to the free throw line I thought of her. I don't consider myself a very consistent free throw shooter, but she always knocked down her free throws.
"So every time I stepped to the line I thought about her and I tried to remain calm. I just remained calm."
**********
The 'Cats learned of Hankins' death at a Monday night team meeting and, on Tuesday, they cancelled their Wednesday game at Minnesota and the Cook County coroner's office ruled the death a suicide. Now would come a prayer vigil with Athletes in Action on Wednesday night and the decision to play this game against the Hoosiers, and always there was an open door at the homes of tri-captains Deary and Inman and Nia Coffey. "Even if we were doing nothing together, we were together," said Inman, explaining how the team got through the week. "It was simple stuff. Watching movies. As long as we were one collective body, it didn't matter what we were doing or saying. Even if it was silent, us being in a room together was our support system."
"We tried to make sure that our entire staff and team were together a lot, and we tried to listen to them (the players), and tried to gauge how they're feeling and what their needs would be," said McKeown. "The biggest thing is just listening to them more than anything else. There's no textbook or playbook on how to handle these things. I've been a head coach for thirty-some years and everything I'm telling you is right off the top of my head right now. So I think as we move forward, we'll deal with it as we go and listen to our players. We have five seniors. We feel like they'll tell us what the team needs as much as we tell them what we've got to do here and there. So we're going to lean on each other."
**********
There were countless shoulders for these 'Cats to lean on Saturday at Welsh-Ryan, which pulsed with emotion. Chris Collins and the men's team were there, and so too were Pat Fitzgerald and any number of his players. The wrestling team, the softball team, countless teams were on hand as well, and so too were the students and the constant supporters of these women. Many wore shirts emblazoned with Hankins' face on the front and, on the back, her number five and the legend "Fly High J."
"I've coached in every arena in America, probably, and it was just so loud, so special," said McKeown. "To hear our student-athletes behind the basket there, to see our men's team— I thought Chris was going to get T'd up once. To see our football players— every sport came out. It was incredible"—and here his voice cracked—"not just our student-athletes. But the people who've supported us since I've been here, how much they care about our players. I'm sure that played into the score today. That was probably worth 10 points."
"It was really good to see everyone come out," echoed Deary. "It's been a hard week for our team and for the Northwestern family. We were out here for her today. That's all this game was about. As a team we decided she would want to play. She loved this game, and we just went out there and played for her."
**********
The 'Cats warmed up to play wearing white t-shirts bearing Hankins' name and number, the same shirts worn by McKeown and his staff. There was a moment of silence for Hankins five minutes before play began and, just before tipoff, all three officials warmly hugged the 'Cat coaches. But here Amber Jamison was suffering. "Once I got on the court, it was a little easier because I felt like I was doing everything for her and that she would want this," she later explained.
"But leading up to the game it was really hard. I wasn't sure if I would be able to come out there and play. Just emotionally. What got me over the hump was remembering her and how much she loved the game and how much she dedicated her time to get better. Also hearing that her brother was able to play (a high school game) Tuesday night really gave me strength. I was just thinking, 'If he can do that, I can go out there and play as well.'"
**********
The 'Cats led by 11 at the end of the first period, which Deary punctuated with a drive and a scooping layup and a tap of her heart and finger toward the heavens. "The whole game we wanted to embody her spirit and her aggressiveness and her confidence and just play with her swagger because that's what she would have done," she would say when asked about that moment. "She was that type of player, to just go at it. I really wanted to make her proud and be aggressive like she usually is."
But at halftime their lead was down to five and, four minutes into the third period, the Hoosiers tied them up at 42. "Courage is grace under pressure," Ernest Hemingway famously said, and the 'Cats certainly exhibited that in the minutes that now followed. But, even more, they manifested the truth of the old Russian proverb that avows, "The same hammer that shatters the glass forges the steel."
All week they had been hammered by any number of thoughts and emotions and now here, their lead gone, their opponent afire, their success uncertain, they were under the hammer once again. But they did not break. They instead showed their steel and unleashed a 15-4 run that left them up 11 as the final period began. "I obviously don't know the team and the culture they have," Hoosier coach Teri Moren would say when asked if this 'Cat response surprised her. "But here is the one thing I do know about young people. I think there's a resiliency about them when it comes to adversity. I don't think we give them enough credit sometimes. It was 40 minutes they could put aside their heartbreak and just play for Jordan. That's probably what their mission was today, to play for something bigger than themselves."
"I think that drove us even further," said Deary, when asked if it was hard to rally back after the week the team had endured. "When you're in a game, you have ups and downs, just like in life you have ups and downs. It's about overcoming those downs together and that's what we did as a team. We pulled together. We withstood the storm and came out on top. That's kind of been our mantra this past week and for this game."
**********
Still, as Amber Jamison walked to the line with 1:57 remaining, it was a three-possession game, and a 'Cat win was not yet assured. But here she thought of Jordan Hankins, and she calmed herself, and she coolly dropped her third and fourth free throw attempts of the season. Then, in the final 58 seconds, she would make four more, and finally this one was over, the 'Cats victorious by 13. "We definitely felt we needed this one for her," she later said. "This whole season, everything we do now is dedicated to Jordan and honoring her. Us coming out together and playing together, I felt like we really did that."
**********
Later, in the handshake line, the Hoosier coach Moren took care to warmly hug each 'Cat and to pat her on the back. "I wanted them to know we were supporting and thinking and praying for them," she would explain. "That's the smallest thing I could do. I know it's been a difficult week here."
Then, as the band played the alma mater, the players huddled near half-court, and draped their arms around each other, and dropped their heads to create a portrait poignant enough for tears. "It was emotional," Ashley Deary finally said. "We've been through so much this past week and to get a win for her and to have that release, there was satisfaction knowing that we could come together and play this game as hard as it was for all of us.
"It was a release. We did it. We overcame this hump that seemed impossible."
Players Mentioned
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/ Women's Basketball
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